Recently, I missed my alma mater's alumni weekend. Thankfully, my girl posse gave me the full recap when they came to visit me a few weeks later. They reported back on who looked good, who looked bad, who was with who, married, engaged, pregnant, fired and still ever so hot.

I laughed and acted shocked at the appropriate pauses during the recounting. I asked about all our friends and if you quizzed me I could probably tell you exactly who was there, what they looked like and what's new in their life. What I can't tell you is whether I would have wanted to be there for the alumni weekend shenanigans.

As I talked and listened with my girls, I heard the same list of "vitals" for each person -- job, relationship (including engagements, marriages and subsequent babies), looks and overall wealth status. I'm not saying we're a superficial group, but when you are highlighting the details on a catch-up conversation with a person you haven't seen in four or five years, it seems that these are the things that it all boils down to.

Look around at the next reunion you go to. Everyone does it. We run through the mental checklist in our heads - Do I look better since college? Am I engaged or married? Have I bought a house, or even a great car? Am I a mom or dad? Have I landed my dream job, or at least a job that lets me pay the bills and still have play money left over?

Over the weekend our conversation turned to our own lives -- the details that you just don't get to in passing conversation. We talked about the changes we noticed in each other that didn't need to be mentioned, but that we offered each other kind congrats for anyway. We noticed who lost that few pounds they had complained about since long before graduation. Or the friend who finally overcame her fears of touching her eyes and got her first pair of contacts, or the one who abhorred tomatoes and now eats them on her salads with gusto.

After a weekend of reminiscing with my girls, I realized that what really matters isn't the "keeping up" checklist you run down in your head when you see that person you had class with several years ago. Your true friends know as you bat your contact-covered eyes at someone, or as you say, "Yes, I am dating (a fully functional, no baggage, amazing guy, thank you very much)," that you have have come further than any checklist in someone's mind could show.

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